WISH CAT MEOW MEOW PET PAD GLITTER CAT PALACE: ORGANIZED CRIMES AND AN ECONOMY DESTINED - no, DESIGNED - TO FAIL

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Okay girlies I finally got my Wish Cat Meow Meow Pet Pad (it's ACTUAL government name, btw). DO NOT GET THE WISHCAT MEOW MEOW PET PAD IT IS A CURSED ARTIFACT AND I AM GOING TO TELL U WHY‼️‼️‼️  When I ordered it, ALL I WANTED was a casual l game where I could feed a cute critter, pet it, play some minigames, decorate its lil palace, and assorted other cat related bullshit. Technically yes it does do all of those things. UNFORTUNATELY‼️‼️‼️,,.,.... it is also a cat based FINANCIAL CONSPIRACY. 💗 Introducing: LOVECAT My first corporeal cat was Lovecat, who arrived w her own lil holographic card and loaded onto the Cat Palace perfectly. At least, the hardware gods were smiling upon me. It must be noted that she was a SEPARATE PURCHASE bc I had known from watching 5000 reviews that u would require other physical cats to unlock the coin earning mode in mini games.  She was super cute and adorable and came w a lil stackable cubby, a magic wand of some descrip...
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Household Species Guide

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Name: Wulffi
Known Aliases: Wulffus, Rufus, Wulffito, Wulffisito
Age: 5
Threat Level: 💥 
Stench Level: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 
Funny? ⭐⭐⭐
Known Crimes: Being EXTREMELY stinky for literally no reason
Additional Notes: Only cares abt 2 things: walks and biscuits. Prefers sweet treats over savory ones. Sometimes has coughing fits out of nowhere but they can be miraculously cured by feeding her biscuits.



Name: Bruschetta Baguette Rothbart Briquette
Known Aliases: Brisquette, Brisket, Brexit, Brisquite, Biscuite
Age: 1.5
Threat Level: 💥 💥 
Stench Level: ⭐⭐⭐ 
Funny? ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 
Known Crimes: Bringing SHIT INTO THE HOUSE TO EAT IT, and honestly just eating way too much in general. Also barking at strangers (we are working on it).
Additional Notes: This dog is OVERWEIGHT!!!! Do not overfeed!!! Will readily come into the shower tho and doesn’t seem to hate water.



Name: Silky Johnson (At Da Playa Haters Ball)
Known Aliases: Silkus, Silko, Shithead (pronounced shuh-thead), Big Stinker, Buddy Boo, Buddy Bingus, Mr Loafa Loafa, The Big Bingus, Binggito, Stinkus, Stinkitto, Mr Feller
Age: 1.5
Threat Level: 💥💥💥💥💥 
Stench Level: 💥💥 
Funny? ⭐⭐ 
Known Crimes: PISSING ON THE COUCH, THE BED, THE CARPET, THE BATHROOM WALL, THE DRIVEWAY WINDOW ETC. Also commits murder upon local wildlife periodically but may even bring home leftovers to share, which is… Nice… I guess :/
Additional Notes: The older and former favorite son of Longfoot (RIP), who she eventually abandoned bc he was too annoying. We noticed him on our dog walks and let him live w us :3 DO NOT LET HIM INTO THE HOUSE THO HE WILL PISS ON EVERYTHING U KNOW AND LOVE DX He does love going for walks w us and the dogs tho and he considers it to be his neighborhood patrol time!




Name: Tiger King 
Known Aliases: Teeks, Teekos, Lil Man, Lil Stinker 
Age: 10 months 
Threat Level: 💥 
Stench Level: 💥 
Funny? ⭐⭐⭐ 
Known Crimes: None :3
Additional Notes: Tummy ache survivor. Longfoot’s son from a recent batch of kittons. As a baby he once pissed his pants AND MINE bc he saw boo cutting cardboard and it was scawy ): But he still gathered up the courage to go and investigate to protect boo from the scary cardboard sounds!! ;33

NOTE: Threat Level does not indicate physical danger. It indicates the likelihood that this household critter will ruin my day. 


Which one I would sacrifice to a volcano if I had to: Briquette. Bc she suffers the most in life (has anxiety). She doesn't suffer a LOT, she's just the one that suffers anything at all. Silky is living his best life (+ we need to keep him alive to teach Teeks how to be a cat), Teeks is just baby and a good boy, and Wulffi REALLY enjoys walks + she doesn't suffer any mental illnesses. Rip Briquette 💔 💔 






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